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Greetings from Guam "If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion." - George Bernard Shaw (attributed to), 1856-1950 I doubt that the Asian economic crisis is having a huge impact on the economy in upstate New York. I wish I could say the same for Guam. In case you did not know it, our livelihood depends on tourists, especially Japanese tourists. The tourist arrivals are down over 30% compared to a year ago (which in itself was not a good year). Imagine if you dare, the number of tourists arriving from Lyons declining by 30%? Not a pleasant thought, I know. It is actually no laughing matter, people (businesses) are hurting here and one area that is of main concern to many is the Department of Education. The method of funding education here on Guam is...well...let me just say that like everything else I have experienced here, it is unique. And foreign. And sometimes, defies common sense. Take opening up a coconut for instance. The first time I tried to do this with a machete, it took me 30 minutes. By the way, you must pronounce it as ma-CHET-tee or else your students will tease you until you suffer a nervous breakdown. The next thing you know, you are working for the post office sorting mail and mumbling, "Its ma-SHET-tee, damn it! Ma-CHET-tee? I'll show 'em ma-CHET-tee." Anyway, my neighbor who grew up here, chuckled when he saw my idiotic attempt at opening the coconut. I had placed the coconut on the ground and whacked away furiously and futilely. He picked up another coconut, took my ma-CHET-tee, held the coconut in one hand and, three mighty blows and 20 seconds later, he handed me two coconut halves. Much to my shock he still had both hands, ten fingers, and was not bleeding! (The last thing that would enter my mind when trying to figure out how to open up a coconut would be to place it in my hand and lop away. See? That, to me, a white boy from New York, is unique, foreign, and defies common sense. Now, in the states, funding for education is attained from local property taxes. All of you who complain about property taxes and school budgets should just pack up and move to Guam if you don't like it. The property taxes are incredibly low compared to upstate NY, around 70-75% lower...of course land prices tend to be a bit pricey in return. Because we do not fund education via property taxes, the quality of education suffers greatly. Last year, a bill was passed to have education funded from the GRT (Gross Receipt Tax. This is a hidden, or built-in, 4% tax on such items as airline tickets, hotel rooms, meals at restaurants, mostly items aimed at the tourists) in which 88% of the money collected would go to the Department of Education. Well, when the tourism market took a 30% plunge, the Department of Education found itself in a 25 million dollar hole...oops. Let me just say that Allan Greenspan was not the author of this whiz-bang of a funding bill in the Guam legislature. Some layoffs have already been made, more are planned, and salary-funding through the end of the school year looks sketchy to put it mildly. But don't worry about me, I have gone global with this column via the Internet and the Courier-Gazette is going to pay me according to the number of hits I get on my "Greetings from Guam" page. That, coupled with the regular salary they are paying me, will put me somewhere between the poverty line and foraging for big crunchy insects in the jungle line. Yeah, don't worry about me, I'll be okay....a little on the thin and gaunt side perhaps, but I should make it. If you would not like to read future articles that deal with me eating insects to survive, help my cause by visiting my column on the web. If enough of you visit it, I may be able to treat myself to a can of Spam next Christmas. Go to: www.cgazette.com, then click on the 'Columns' icon, and then the 'Greetings from Guam' link. Hafa Adai Editor's Note: You can sometimes catch Jim on Newstalk K57 in Guam on The Myk Powell Show (midnight to 4 a.m. our time). Just go to Copyright © 1999 |
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