Greetings from Guam
By James P. Healy 
swimguam@kuentos.guam.net

  Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not. - Vclav Havel, Czech writer and politician (President)

So Myk, Jefferson, and myself were camped out at Sella Bay about two weeks ago - it was a council meeting of the Hill People. (Mykon has a seat on the council from the 43rd district, which is mostly made up of trolls and jigger mites)...and Jefferson and myself. But anyway, Jefferson informed us that he had to come up with a Commencement Address for the University he works for (out here...it's a satellite thing).

He asked us for some ideas...I hope he wasn't being serious because we were anything but serious with our ideas. The long and the short of it was that I was glad I didn't have to come up with a commencement address. This was Saturday. On Monday at school, the senior class president asked me if I would be the Keynote Speaker at their graduation....on Saturday. My reply, 'Yeah, sure. Why not?' She thanked me and left. And I thought to myself; 'Idiot! Idiot! You stupid idiot! 'Yeah, sure.' I am an idiot!'

So, here it is:

First and foremost, I would like to thank the Class of 2000 for asking me to speak today, I am greatly honored. Thank you very much. I, too, would like to welcome all of you here, but especially our most honored guests, the parents and relatives of this class. Welcome and thank you for being here today.

Parents, do you remember 12 or 13 years ago, your son or daughter's first day of school? Do you remember the looks of fear, trepidation, anxiety, and or excitement on their faces? Look at them now. I see pride, confidence, joy, and, on some, relief. To all of you - parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles - I say congratulations. They would not be sitting up here now if it were not for the YEARS of selfless sacrifice on your part. As a teacher, I thank you with all my heart for your part in making this great day possible. Thank you.

Graduates, look out into the audience and find your family members - go ahead, stand if you need to, wave if you'd like. Okay, graduates, I know exams are over, but let's conduct one last review session. Think about what your parents and relatives have done for you over the past 12 years...think about it....12 years:

- all the rides to and from school

- waiting with you and for you at the bus stop

- all the rides to and from practice and games, concerts, dances.

- all the times they came to school to pick you up when you were sick, or to drop off your homework, a text book, a project, or food for a fiesta.

Think about all the MONEY they have given you in the last 12 years. Money for:

lunches, clothes, school supplies, dances, athletic equipment, proms, class rings, yearbooks, gas money and for hundreds of other miscellaneous things. Think of all the sacrifices they have made for you over the last 12 years. Not one of you would be sitting up here today if it were not for the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, PATIENCE, GENEROSITY and SACRIFICE on their part.

Most of these young men and women behind me know me pretty well, and I am guessing that most of you out there do not. I am going to share with all of you some of the words that they have used to describe me, which will give you an indication of why they asked me to speak today.

At one time or another over the past three years, I have been referred to as: weird, crazy, wacky, nutty, foolish, bizarre, demented, loony, abnormal, Tom Green, and even clinically insane. But they have all said these things with big smiles on their faces. And that has always been my number one goal as a teacher - to produce smiles and laughter. Education can be fun and should be. I know what many of you are thinking; 'Yeah, but did they learn? Anything?' You'll have to ask them for the answer to that question, but they are here now, aren't they? And they're smiling.

My outlook and my philosophy on life is simple - and it is my message to you today: Live Life.

It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, without taking time to stop and appreciate and admire all that goes on around us. It is so easy to take for granted what your parents have done for you for the last 12 years. It's so easy to take for granted all that we have here on Guam. It is so easy to go through life as a whiner and a complainer.

- Take time out to gaze in wonder at the beauty of another picturesque sunset on Tumon Bay.

- Absorb the serenity of a walk on the beach at daybreak

- Go outside during a passing shower and appreciate the smell of the rain.

- Enjoy the peaceful calm in a candlelit room with a loved one when the power goes out.

We do indeed live in paradise. But you need to - we all need to - constantly stop and ask ourselves, 'Am I simply existing or am I living life?'

It is all too easy and common to complain about things that are not perfect - the power, the water, GovGuam this and the military that. It is all too easy to make excuses for all that does not go in our favor. But, while you complain and forge excuses, life is passing you by.

It is not easy to truly live life in today's hectic and fast-paced world, with our pagers, cell phones and financial pressures. The majority of us get swept up into EXISTING rather than living life. I want all of you to live life and have fun.

Every year I start the school year with the same goal, to make all my students laugh at least once everyday - whether it be a funny story from my youth, a redneck joke, passing a test out with my face photocopied on the back, or by doing cartwheels across the front of the classroom. I have vowed to myself that I am going to have fun and enjoy life - to live life. And I am bound and determined to bring as many students as possible along for the ride.

That is what I'm asking all of you to do; ENJOY LIFE - LIVE LIFE and drag as many people along with you as you can. Whatever it is you end up doing in life, make the most of it.

Congratulations, GOD BLESS all of you and please be smart and safe with your celebrations.

AND now for my final tribute to the class of 2000....

(I did a cartwheel across the stage - and ended up right in the middle. I turned to the graduates, got down on my knees - in a suit and tie mind you - and I bowed to the graduates - twice. Then I pulled my jacket up over my head to shield me from the flying bottles and chunks of concrete, and sprinted out the back door to a waiting cop cruiser.)

I am writing this column now from my 'Safe House.' Cops said I'll be safe here until it all blows over. Wish me luck. Oh, by the way, I now go by the name of Bo Neato...I like the way it sounds. Hafa Adai, Bo Neato