Wanted: NR/W Class of '88 Grads

Although over 15 years have passed since the members of the class of 1988 last decked the halls of North Rose-Wolcott High School, current day laws are in effect over all past crimes - social, entertainment, and fashion crimes to be included. There is no statute of limitations for these crimes. Therefore, all members of the class of '88 are wanted in connection with said crimes. They will be tried, judged, convicted and laughed at by their peers at a trial set for the summer of 2004.

Social Crimes include the following: Causing a delay of the annual Halloween party with a fire in the Haunted House. Disturbing the peace by howling at the moon under the guise of Senior Caroling. Impersonating professional sports players (mainly, soccer). Using the word 'Totally' totally too much!

Entertainment crimes: Idolizing a man with one sequined glove who is no longer physically recognizable as that same man. Impersonating rock bands that are, sadly, no longer in existence. Watching (and quoting) 'Sixteen Candles' one too many times.

Fashion crimes: Stirrup pants worn with high heels and long, baggy sweaters. Concert t-shirts from bands of the '70s. Mini-skirts worn with boots or high heels and two different colored lacy bobby socks. Parachute pants. Jeans that had built in air conditioning. This list could go on. You get the picture. But perhaps the most notable and highest fashion crime of all: BIG HAIR. Yep, both guys and girls. You're all guilty.

To turn yourself in, or if you have any information concerning the present whereabouts of the guilty members of the class of '88, contact the Party Police Chief (aka Reunion Coordinator) Chris (Yates) Parks. Snail mail: NR-W Class of '88 Reunion, PO Box 88, North Rose, NY 14516.

E-mail:

parksdept@pghmail.com

Phone: 781.316.5943

Updates concerning the time of the trial will be printed as more evidence is gathered and evaluated. And, yes, photos will be used as evidence!

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